Yahoo! Music and Gracenote have announced plans to launch a website which will put the complete lyrics of various recording artists online. "Song lyrics are continually among the top 10 searches performed, though the results often give consumers a frustrating experience, filled with inconsistent and incomplete lyrics and annoying pop ups" says Gracenote president  Craig Palmer. He aims to make checking the pronouncements of Elvis and the Beatles that bit easier.

To spice up a dry a bit of news Yahoo! Music manager Ian Rogers suggests their move will finally clear up the arguments we have all been having about misheard lyrics for years. (I suppose looking in the sleevnotes is out of the question is this age of iTunes). Bob Dylan's deathless words, he claims, will never again be misconstrued as "The ants, my friend, are in the bowling pin" - not that anyone has ever made that mistake ever. And Jimi Hendrix will now kiss the sky in Purple Haze, not the man standing next to him. A silly news story perhaps, but a blogging goldmine.

For my part, as a boy, I used to imagine the Police's So Lonely was actually a homage to the presenter of Desert Island Discs. "Sue Lawley! Sue Lawley! Sue Lawley! Sue Lawley!"  Most embarassing, I imagined the first verse of Bob Marley's Redemption Song to paint an idyllic quayside picture: "Oh pirates yes they row by, sell dye to the merchant ships..."(!) But perhaps we could be forgiven for mishearing Sheryl Crow, given her recent pronouncements. To limit waste, the eco-friendly singer suggests we limit our loo-paper consumption to one sheet per sitting. Her most famous hit will forever be, to my ears "All I Wanna Do Is Wipe My Bum".

Please add your own mishearings to the comments bit at the bottom. My favourite will receive a jiffy bag of interesting CDs I have lying around my desk.

EDIT: 27/04, 5pm: Okay, okay, competion closed, after some mirth. Special commendations to KT Tunstall's Leigh-on-Sea and Bjork's private tortoise. But the winner is Jerry's take on Help Me Rhonda, which when you imagine the Beach Boys singing it is just a very amusing plea. I actually first misread it as "eat her out of her car", which I think better  (I imagine the scene as some car crash sequel to Fun, Fun, Fun). But still, the dirtier version makes me laugh too.