Here’s Debrett’s in the gents:

"Always leave an empty urinal between you and the next man. If this is not possible, use the cubicle. You are not crossing the road: don’t look left and right."

Most importantly: "Conversation is for before or after, never during".

Loo attendants, by the way, are to be tipped with "a few small coins on your last visit of the evening". If you’re feeling generous.

This is Debrett’s new Guide For Modern Gentlemen - and as far as this sort of advice goes, it‘s diamond. It should be enshrined in London law. No one should chat to you at the pissoir.

However, beyond the etiquette stuff, it seems the venerable publisher, first founded in 1769 and still regarded as the authority on manners, is having an identity crisis.

The guide is laid out in the now familiar, old school-quirky style of Schott’s Miscellany. Its sensible instruction on mobiles at dinner (put it away) and mixing Martinis is padded with stuff you’d expect to see in Loaded circa 1997 which seems aimed at that tragic breed: the City Boy.

There are tips on technology: "the less comprehensible to women, the better". There’s advice on how to "blow the bonus" ("Fly a MiG over Moscow" is one of 20 things to do before you die). There are lists of albums you must own. (Who goes to Debrett’s for tips on how to boogie?)

There are also little items written by one Miss Debrett, "mistress of etiquette", telling you how women think, and how to make them think well of you. The fact that Miss Debretts is pictured in stockings and suspenders makes it clear: read this if you want to pull. Number seven of eight things men should know about women is: "She’ll ask you if you fancy her best friend (solution: lie)."

So, having spend two centuries telling poshos which knife to use, Debrett’s now sees its role as helping cads to bed. What is the modern gent to do faced with a harrassed mother, a buggy and a flight of stairs? This is not covered in the book, but we may infer that the best solution is to walk on, as she is not the sort you’d like to impress anyway.

Such codes of manners used to play a useful role in helping uphold the class system while pretending to help you unlock it. Now they are to help you impress birds. James Bond is, of course, the most quoted individual in this edition.

What the guide denies is that good manners should flow from kindness and consideration - which should not depend on your wearing the correct suit (bespoke) or shirt (also bespoke) or shoes (Oxfords - they’re what Bond wears) but are in fact the province of anyone with an ounce of feeling? The new Debrett’s teaches this stuff to mask a lack of kindness and consideration - and with the decline of the sort of bonuses that allow you to "Buy an island", it feels mercifully out of date already.